Mary Toler spends a lot of time with kids, having adopted eight and fostered dozens.

Even though she had adopted seven children through the Hamilton County Department of Job and Family Services, Mary Toler agreed to take one more when the agency called in late 2007. Her adoption of 18-month-old Taron was finalized on March 6.  

“I have his two brothers, ages 14 and 12, who I adopted close to nine years ago,” said Toler, 55, of Bond Hill. “The county told me their mom was having another baby, and asked if I wanted to keep them together.” 

Like the birth parents of many children she adopts or fosters, Taron’s mother suffers from drug addiction. Taron was born with drugs in his body due to his mother’s use while pregnant. 

Children overcome difficult situations
“It takes a strong heart to hear what they’ve gone through and survived,” Toler said.  

Taron and his brothers have grown very close. The boys regularly see some of their natural grandparents. 

“Children need somebody they can attach to – somebody they can bond to,” Toler said. 

Toler has served as a foster and adoptive parent with Hamilton County JFS for 26 years, the last 10 as a single parent. She has three biological children, ages 35, 33 and 23, whom she sees every day. Her oldest adoptive child, Devona, is 33. She has 10 grandchildren, ages 16 to almost 1, all of whom she sees regularly. She has worked as a graphics and design tech at Duke Energy for 28 years. 

Adopting a positive attitude
“All kids need a family,” Toler said. “Everybody needs to belong to something. Even if you don’t have much, you need to share it. You can’t save the world, but you can save just one.” 

All of Toler’s adoptions started as foster placements. Most of the foster children arrived as sibling groups. 

Cameron, 16, the oldest child at home, came to Toler’s home from the hospital two weeks old. His sister, Jaqua, 14, also arrived from the hospital. She adopted them a year later. 

Two other adopted children -- Marley, 11, and Teah, 10 -- are siblings..

“I have a great support system,” said Toler, noting that her sister, Gloria Allie, has adopted eight children through Hamilton County. Allie, also a foster parent, lived next door until a fire last August. “Her kids and my kids are very close,” she said. 

Family members back each other
Three other sisters also live in Cincinnati, said Toler, pointing out a pencil etching of the group on the wall of her two-story brown brick home on Reading Road in Bond Hill. The house’s comfortable front porch sits across the street from St. Joseph Orphanage. 

Toler finds the county’s training for foster and adoptive parents helpful. She appreciates the help of workers from Hamilton County Children’s Services such as Brigit Montgomery, Paul Cohen and Chris Landon. 

She decided to become a foster parent after reading a powerful magazine article about a tiny 1-year-old who had survived on just milk. The article gave the number of Hamilton County’s adoption and foster care recruitment line, (513) 632-6366.  

“I kind of figured if I could help just one child, it would be worth it,” Toler said. “I don’t think I intentionally set out to do the adoption part, but the kids came here and nobody wanted them.” 

Children have 'no place else to go'
She shared stories of children coming from horrid situations such as these:  

* Two youngsters were found in an abandon building with a 14-year-old acting as parent. Their mom was in jail, and nobody knew where dad was. Their grandmother was sick. Grandfather tried to care for the children, but couldn’t. 

* Two had been adopted by a grandmother, who suffered a massive heart attack and died. An aunt kept three siblings, but couldn’t handle two more. 

“It’s almost like the kids come to me with no place else to go,” Toler said. “They can be so distraught. All they need to know is that somebody cares.” 

As he withdrew from drugs in his system, tiny Taron endured a couple of days of minor tremors. He has been a bit slow at walking and talking and has a strong temper for his age. Help Me Grow, an early childhood program, has helped with these issues. 

“I think I’m through with the adoption part, but I’ll probably stay a foster parent now,” Toler said. “I think I do this because I really feel like I’m doing something that makes a difference. It’s just a good feeling to know you’ve helped someone.”